4) Status the Fourth
My name is You. Love You.
On every working day at the same time, unless it coincided with trials, #Mac had habit of drinking morning coffee with his ex-wife Branka, who at the time of these occurences was a secretary in his office, and his current assistant Muraro, with whom he was a friend for about twenty years or so. That ritual has been taking place in the well-known The Old Times Club, starting at noon and lasting for the following an hour or two, sometimes even longer. Since he used to receive his clients between four and eight o’clock, #Mac would be very impolite, if some new client, not knowing that it was not allowed, got into café and interrupted this socializing. Old clients showed respect for his rhythm of the Rock’n’Roll lawyer, as he was once dubbed by the president of the court of justice.
– Both the living and the dead are afraid of him – jokingly, but quite seriously thinking, shouted Radika, his client and the regular guest of the Times club as well.
Branka and Muraro were in some aspects very similar to each other – they adore to chat while drinking coffee, leaving their pleasures and hardships behind. It is exactly what makes them being ideal victims of #Mac. Putting aside their feeling of admiration for his talents, education and humor; it is not rather enjoyable listening to endless analysis tackling on almost all subjects existing in this world, scientific explanations, artistic critics, predictions of all world and cosmic trends…, especially if you are only interested in everyday, local happenings, people from your immediate surroundings and interesting gossips and words of mouth, as to @RoughMac hadn’t any clue. For that reason all sudden events regarding #Bianca and #Mac’s obsession by her, came as a pleasant surprise to both of them. Finally, like in the good old times (in accordance with the name of the club), all together now could discuss something romantic and loving, even if it sometimes according to #Mac’s character, crossed the limits of natural temperance.
@RoughMac expatiated frustratingly, trying to explain that @BiancaMistake and him had nothing in common. She was, approvingly, incomparably more beautiful, while he was, with no proof, but for everyone indisputably, much more intelligent (except, I presume for her). Age difference on her behalf, was for the majority of his companions, an insurmountable obstacle. Her companionship consisted of clever dicks, who frivolously pretended to be creative, and his on the other hand, consisted of crazy geniuses, who just on the contrary, have been trying to present themselves as being socially adjusted. In comparison with her, he had a lot more money, although (you won’t believe it) much less than sheiks or Russian tycoons, but money was completely beyond her interest, especially the extremely big money. She was just married and ready to take the role of mother, while he completely opposite, experienced divorce after the long-time marriage, without breaking friendship with his ex-wife, with whom he has been raising their lovely daughter, then high-school girl. It’s not unimportant to mention, that #Mac was crazy about #Bianca, while to her even his existence wasn’t a matter of significance. As a proof that every single rule does imply an exception, it is significant to stress, that they shared one similar and common trait – they used to love persons younger than themselves. Do not run away from integral calculations and intricate mathematical operations, and give yourselves an opportunity to check, who of them wasn’t capable of meeting a condition of the other one.
During #Mac’s young age, such kind of differences haven’t been any sort of a problem. In those ages he was capable of conquering unassailable strongholds, capable of smashing hard nuts, as a high-school guy he has been having great time with famous female handball-players, Dutch models, and alongside, not avoiding to pay duties neither to his female teachers nor to ”prom queens”.
Exactly that matter, was the cause of deception for all of his friends and himself alike. They believed that @RoughMac’s charisma was still untouched, and they were glad to witness its existence again. But he, head over heels in loved, felt his spirit being rekindled, and even his body showed the signs of new life, at least partially, what brought into his memory the words of his godfather Jazavac (Badger), which he told him once a long time ago: ”When a girl falls in love with you, she loves you the same way, a mother loves her own child.” And even then, he was aware that something like that was not possible, but wait a minute, who wouldn’t be feeling gladly?
All these I wrote in this chapter, represents an excerpt of their discussion, while drinking the excellent Danesi espresso. The summary of it would be as following:
– You got again into trip that you were in love, but you actually don’t even know what’s it like. It’s not that bad, at least you feel nicely. Of course, if circumstances were different, you could even get her. Beautiful, you say? She as beautiful as a doll. Come on, forget about it, but not because of her beauty. It’s neither the problem for you, nor is it the problem in general. There won’t be nothing, because two of you are completely different worlds. I don’t mean your age, money, beauty… Simply said, yours and her life are utterly diverse. She doesn’t even know where she is, and you are such a twisted, odd fellow. – Branka.
Longly after these words, almost everybody were of the opinion, that she was simply jealous. The only one who was ready to take her side was #Mac, not only because he managed to understand her, but for the reason he was convinced, that her opinion was entirely proper, while hoping from the bottom of his heart, that she’s utterly wrong.
– Oh come on, her heart has been already won over, it’s the matter of days. However, why do you feel desire for her, when after all, a lot of beautiful young lady kids waiting for you? I don’t even know, when did you bring decision to give up on teenage girls. I do agree with Branka in that matter, you got into trip again. All right, it’s time to begin choosing the older ones. I’m only concerned over drugs, you know what sort of girls the models are. – Muraro.
A journalist by profession, he attributed a lot of significance to a couple of #Bianca’s famous female colleagues, who caused the whole branch become stigmatized. But, #Mac was glad to realize that a friend of him, whom is usually pretty difficult to convince into something, just after a couple of events recounted to him, showed no any sign of suspicion, that the final result will be positive (if all of us do understand,what means positive result in man’s opinion).
– I’m not saying it is not going to happen; moreover, I think it is going to – Branka read them. – But, nothing else.
– Well, what else do you want? – Muraro laughed. – Did you see how she looked like?
– You know that our Mića is a genius, but he is a fool as well. Don’t you see, that he’s planning much more serious things! – Branka continued.
– I mean quite seriously. I want her to become my girlfriend, to marry me and give birth to a lot of our kids – #Mac got involved showing realistic expectations, as if he had fallen from a tree, but again his determination was pretty worrying.
– Well, haven’t you said she was married? – Branka asked.
– And her husband will not have anything against what the two of you expect?
– Are you kidding me, he won’t be asked at all. – those two little devils burst into laughter.
– #Bianca and her husband are very close to each other – @RoughMac said, while describing common photos of the attractive loving couple, on which they looked like as if they had been deeply rooted into each other. For the sake of sheer decency, he didn’t mention that those photos were pretty old, and having seen them on that DJ-party, it seemed that their closeness become to vanish rapidly. Slowly he was beginning to feel disgust towards himself – although the two of them were so beautiful and exotic in their togetherness, he selfishly felt desire to separate them.
Finally, when he left after the “morning” coffee, on his way back to the office, he felt recovered. #Bianca and her husband really looked lovely, as if they were two teenage kids fallen in love, but the combination between @BiancaMistake and @RoughMac was a real masterpiece.
Having turned the computer on, he immediately logged in onto Facebook, and wrote on #Bianca’s wall:
“Thank you for the beautiful evening
I thought over and realized, you were right about the photo”.
He lied of course. His intentions were still frank, but paradoxically, he felt that if he wanted to make them being true, he had to play the game. On the other hand, he was of the opinion, that if the love was true, any games were neither necessary nor allowed. That way he found himself caught within the magic circle, endlessly turning around.
As if she was a guardian angel, #Bianca added at the very same moment:
“i’m glad you had wonderful time
i want to thank you for understanding me.”
Tired of ample of thoughts and discussions, of demagogy and mimicry, but mostly of uncertainty, #Mac succeeded in forgetting #Bianca for the whole afternoon. Occupied by his legal works, he felt again that strange sensation, that from now on, she was beyond his interest. So frequent and dramatic mood changes were not a sign of something good to come.
In the evening he transformed once again, and started surfing the internet in order to collect some informations about her. He was astonished at seeing her nude photos on the centerfold of the magazine he’s been regularly buying. Not because of the content, since even without the clothes on, she looked so purely and chastely ,but for the fact, that he didn’t notice those photos of hers before. He searched his “archive” and found the magazine issue, containing her photos. He remembered when he looked through her photos for the first time, how hot she was in his eyes, but an idea of the possibility that his Facebook friend and magazine girl, could be the same person, did not cross his mind, in any way.
In the accompanying article, the journalists specified some of her greatest professional successes, mentioning especially world famous fashion companies she worked once for, the magazines she has been showing up in, at first sight shocking, but actually pretty artistic pictorials… there was so much of everything in it. They didn’t spare their words to commend her smartness, erudition, underground taste and the rest, what made her specific in comparison with all other Belgrade beauties. Honestly speaking, models are usually prone to visiting urban clubs and avoiding barges, but sometimes it is quite possible to find someone who is very keen on listening Lepa Brena for instance (about all of them, after all, just like about anything else, a hundreds of interesting psychological and sociological analysis could be elaborated). A short interview, made with #Bianca on that occasion, for someone would be a confirmation of her profound education, but for #Mac it was the symbol of her insatiable desire for education, so avidly being acquired from the whole range of various, diversified sources, what consequently produced nothing else, but the confusion and inconsistency.
So, even though the journalists considered her being perfect, exactly imperfection was that magic clue, what has been ultimately shaping her beauty. @RoughMac wasn’t keen on Pigmalionism. Moreover he underestimated people, who’ve been trying to impose on someone, necessity of becoming perfect, poor fellows who thought, that they were chosen to repair magnificent creations of God. On the contrary, he was of the opinion that the perfection neither exists, nor its existence is possible. Therefore, those who admire perfection are characterized by the lack of taste – instead of expressing admiration for all those wonderful, amazing treasure, created by the powers of the Universe, they are more intrigued by things non-existing, and accordingly, produced by humans and their weak mind.
– You know what? – #Mac started chatting with #Bianca.
– I think you’re not actually married, you just put it in order to get rid of aggressive woman-hunters.
– well, yes.
– What “well yes”?
– well that, i’m not married.
– Are you kidding me? – #Mac asked excitedly.
– no, i don’t. anyway, i’m in a relationship resembling to a marriage, so why should i unnecessarily make things complicated.
– Those journalists who say you are perfect, do have right.
– what journalists?
– Those who gave comments on your centerfold and the other photos.
– oh, that. a certain time had passed since then, so i forgot it. perfect, you say, come on. they don’t know me, or writing just for the sake of publicity.
– You won’t believe me – I’m buying that magazine regularly, but I didn’t pay attention at all, seeing you in a such “informal shape”! But after I saw your photo on your profile page, I felt as if I had been thunderstruck!
– oh come on, does that mean you didn’t send me a request just because of those photos.
– No, I didn’t, I swear. Only tonight when I typed your name on Google, among others of course, I found those photos. Then I took that magazine and browsed through your photos.
– and now i should believe it.
– Yes, you should, because I always speak only truth.
– you’re never lying?
– well, yes. there are such guys lol. wait, wait… i’m worried about something else. that’s what you said a moment before.
– As if I had been thunderstruck?
– that is. i don’t know, but maybe there are different meanings behind it. but as much as i know…
– …it’s being said, when you’re in loved with someone?
– well yes.
I’m sure you wished, you could have seen that face of @RoughMac, how cutely that rhythmic, childish “well yes” of hers, sounded to him!
– What it is, it is It’s being said!
– and you are, sort of, in loved with me?
– I told you a minute before, that I spoke only truth, so I mustn’t lie now. I feel like taking part in that stupid TV Show The Moment of Truth.
– you are just tripped, whatsoever.
– I’m not, and even if I was, it’s actually the same.
– and you dare say it, just like that?
– Yes, I dare.
– you are not afraid of the consequences?
– Broken heart and that sort of thing? I am ready to accept every single consequence.
– then, should I be worried now?
– What for? That I’m some kind of maniac?
– i’m not saying you’re maniac, but you know how it is… it is not difficult to find me.
– You can be completely calm .I’m not a maniac. Not on your nelly! Than, why did you all of a sudden, start to addressing me formally?
– well i think, now when i’m aware that you’re in loved with me, the situation is beginning to change.
– You don’t believe that I’m loving you?
– no, i don’t believe you.
– Than, why are you keeping on addressing me formally?
– You are so cunning. But let me ask you, when shall we meet each other for a coffee-afternoon, to give us chance to get to know ourselves, and to talk face to face?
– i am not fond of drinking coffee with a person who could be my father, knowing moreover that he’s got a crush on me.
– Well, not just father, you’ve gone too far a little bit. Besides, among all the women I like, you are unquestionably the oldest one And I did not say that I had a crush on you, no, that what I feel for you is something much greater.
– Oh, really.
Suddenly, #Bianca was offline. #Mac wasn’t worried at all. If it had to be finished between two of them, then it’s better it ended so quickly. He was already aware that he became a target of criticism for a lot of his friends, for while following intuition, he’s always been rushing instead of being more cautious and hesitating, in spite of being widely known as a Master of analyzing and prediction, and being even successfully engaged in marketing business. None of it he used in attempting to win over women’s heart, totally opposite to his own, seemingly vulgar attitude, that courtship was just a business like any other.
A couple of minutes passed, and #Mac wondered what could be the reason, #Bianca didn’t delete him from her list of friends. Unexpectedly, followed by a particular sound (which I think provokes a feeling of pleasure with majority of the people), a window with their previous chat popped up on the screen, and the beauty went on:
– here i am.
– I thought you were not going to come back.
– oh, no. i spilled beer all over the computer, so it’s overheating at the moment, and constantly turning off. i was out of my mind, while sitting and waiting for it to start functioning again.
– It means, you’re not angry with me?
– angry? why?
– Well, you don’t want to drink coffee with me.
– it’s not that i won’t, it’s just still early.
– I like this ”still early”.
– now i really have to go.
– What happened? Your boyfriend came into apartment?
– no really, i have to pack my suitcase, i travel to athens early in the morning.
– A holiday?
– oh no, not a holiday. i am constantly on work. the fashion week is starting there.
– You really are a world-famous chick! Well, then. Have a nice trip )) Earn a lot of money and take care of yourself.
– thank you.
– Good night and sleep well
– you too
There is no need to be exceptionally clever, maybe it’s quite enough being utterly stupid so as to comprehend with what kind of bliss @RoughMac spent the rest of the evening. Every time when he felt being overwhelmed by feeling of extreme happiness, he would completely have been giving up to it, without recalling anything else and forgetting every single problem. He considered happy moments being remarkably precious, so that he never wanted to spoil those moments by getting them involved with something else. Wise people say you should live that very moment, but he used to do it only when he felt blissfully.
He’s been thinking and came to conclusion, that a nickname GentleMac would be much better fitting, than RoughMac, given to him by friends just for the sake of mere joking. Tonight he was both gentle and gentleman, so that word-playing appealed to him a lot – @gentlemac instead of @roughmac.
He uploaded a couple of songs on his Facebook profile, and then he browsed through his E-mail post. Having come upon an e-mail sent by some unknown person, he promptly decided to delete it, but in some magic way it came back again. As if he had gone mad, he has been persistently pressing the little cross in the upper right corner, but nothing has been happening. Even the command Alt+F4 did not help. But before he brought decision to turn off the computer, he managed to take a glimpse of a small part of the message, that forced him to read it.
“My honor forces me not to address you with ‘Dear’, or in some similar courteous manner.
I am aware that I will bear the consequences for this, but I have to say that I couldn’t apprehend at all, that I would have to cooperate with a psychopath like you are. We sent a man with a clear sign of good will, ‘shaped’ into one million Euros and I don’t doubt a bit, that he safely handed them over to you, as it was ordered to him.
Why did you have to kill him? I’m sure he gave you any cause or reason to act in that way. Nobody of us is not a saint, but I wouldn’t even be capable to think of taking a million Euros from an unknown man, and then to kill him, despite he had donated that amount of money to me, and afterwards to mutilate his dead body. Had you hidden him somewhere, it would have been comprehensible (even though disgusting), but you had left him there, where he must have been found. You wanted to send us some kind of message? What kind of message? That you are a beast? You know quite well, that we are not afraid of the beasts, and that our fear is not the reason for the fact that you are still alive, but something much more important. And why are you sending us messages in that way, instead in a polite and civilized conversation?
Don’t try to defend yourself, because we know well, with what kind of ease you have shot our second man, who just thanks to sheer luck and his extraordinary strength succeeded to stay alive.
I am totally disgusted with you!”
Found himself in a panic, #Mac at first didn’t know what to think, let alone what to do. Then he dialed a number, from which he received a call of The Circle on the previous morning. The mobile user was not available.
He turned on a TV set, started to browse the channels in an attempt to find some news. When he did it at last, he heard one of the head news – in a dustbin on the Boulevard, a cut off and mutilated head of the unknown young man had been found.